The Downfall of Tina Leans (Geopolitical Fan Fiction)

What follows is an involved parody, a swaydo sequel to the pseudo-series Allawi’s Law.

TV Trailer Script

Reign of Fire: The Downfall of Tina Leans

The trailer opens with Requiem for a Dream’s overture. The Tina Leans’ character sits on a stool hunch over thinking about the events of her life. The background is dark.
Voiceovers:
Man 1: You’re a loose cannon!
Man 2: She must be stopped
Man 3: On national TV! She said that on national TV!
Tina’s voice: I will betray America

Narrator: See her life from her point of view. How a young patriot….
Image of Tina graduating from the FBI Academy
Narrator: …. went bad
Footage of Tina, as a page/intern, handing classified documents to Senator Kow on the House Waize and Means committee.

Narrator: How she meet the Kurds for the first time….
Tina meets the Kurds (played by Albanians). Together plotting on killing the President in Damascus (played by Russell Means).

Tina to Kurds: Then it’s agreed. This “peace” will be mutually bad to everyone’s business and the most popular, beloved president of all time must die.
One of the Kurds then starts to hand out guns and drugs.
Tina: No thanks. I only snort the stuff I grow in the daycare’s playroom.

Narrator: Also starring Benjamin Netanyahu as Ehud Barak
Barak: Who should we betray? The United States or Israel?
Tina: Why not both?

medium_benjamin_netanyahu.jpg

Narrator: And learn the inside story on how one brave street cop ended the national nightmare
Allawi: (Yelling at his unseen boss) Two people a week is too high of a body count anywhere, including Alexandria, Virginia!
Camera view switches to L. Paul Bremer, Allawi’s boss
Bremer: (Angier, frustration in his voice) I know Allawi! (Calms down to a whisper) I know…… But the only way to end the madness is to….
Allawi: Stop Tina Leans.

Narrator: And see the final confrontation
Tina and Allawi are in a control room. Allawi points a gun at Tina and yells

Allawi: Step away from the launch pad!

Trailer closes with Tina back on the stool in the black background room. Requiem for a Dream’s overture plays once again.
Narrator: This fall, see “Reign of Fire: The Downfall on Tina Leans” based on Tina Lean’s own book recently released, From Kurdistan to Candyland.
Trailer ends with the Tina character’s eyes staring directly into the camera.

FBI Special Agent Dr. Leans’ Reaction, while watching the TV trailer

Hey, that’s Rina Lensi, why is she on TV?

WHAT????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I helped end the committee!

Those are Albanians!

WHAT??????????????????

I never meet him!

WE WERE FRIENDS! He held a good-bye party for me!

WHAT?????!!!???!!!???!!!???

No! That’s not what my book is about! Its about politics. Its not an autobio!