The Dardanelles of the Beltway

It’s been a while since George Will has been politically relevant, but faithful reader PKA has obtained a draft copy of a column that will run the week of Fred Thompson’s announcement.

Washington Post columnist George Will

Will’s column will make a splash, and potentially cause troubles for the Thompson campaign:

The British navy found that, despite seemingly favorably odds, the Dardanelles Channel guarding Constantinople proved impenetrable for His Majesty’s Navy.

Fred Thompson is about the learn the same.

I sit here, staring at an asp I purchased a week before yesterday. An asp of the same variety as took the life of Cleopatra Makedonus. I purchased the snake for one reason.

If Fred Thompson wins the party nomination, I will kill myself.

There is party suicide and there is personal suicide. There shall not be one without the other.

If Fred Thompson steps up to the podium in Saint Paul to accept the Republican National Committee’s nomination for President, I will step down from this mortal coil. If he shuffles on stage, I shuffle off.

For the great majority of contemporary Americans without an exposure to the classics, I will repeat myself in the vulgate of our times

If Fred Thompson wins the primary, I will kill myself.

As the generational struggle against Muscovy taught Americans “Better dead than Red,” I now say: “Better dead than under Fred.”

I present this challenge to Senator Thompson, a fake prosecutor on a fake crime show and a very real deadbeat: if you continue to run, you will kill me.

This is not an idle threat, nor misdirected scorn. My standards, my virtue, my honesty, my determination are beyond doubt. To crib, perhaps, the third-person form of address made famous by the World War veteran from Kansas: “George Will does not lie. George Will tells the truth.”

“If Fred Thompson wins, George Will dies.”

Senator Thompson, save America, and save my life.

Don’t run.

Don’t run the Dardanelles of the Beltway.

Fred Thompson apparently heard of this slightly below I did, as his YouTube response is already up:

Senator Thompson responds to George Will


(YouTube video: Thompson reads the article, smiles, turns to the camera and takes out his cigar.)

Dardenelles of the Beltway? I don’t know what you New England drama queens see in an ancient Napoleonic treaty; I have an campaign to conduct.

The fact is, Georgey, that your liberal ideas are bankrupt. Just like how they will bankrupt our country. Its time for change; its time for Fred.

Now if you excuse me, I have an acceptance speech that I need to write.

(Thompson begins to turn away but pauses then quickly looks back into the camera)

Oh and be careful. I hear that asps bite.

(Thompson chuckles and the video ends)

Against the Wild Type of Man

From television’s John Locke to print’s John Norman, romantic philosophers yearn for a restoration of the Hunter as a model for all men. And recent scientific discoveries, outlined in Nicholas Wade’s Before the Dawn, indeed imply that before agriculture man was

  • more intelligent (at least, had a larger brain size)
  • more muscular (at least, more athletic)
  • more aggressive (at least, less social)

However, the romantic miss the fact that the wild type of homo sapiens is in decline because it is less fit than the domestic typed. Humans have become domesticated, and domesticated animals, from modern dogs to modern men, share some features

  • less intelligent
  • less muscular
  • less aggressive
  • more social
  • more communicative

Combine domestication with two other facts: that by “the wild” we essentially mean Africa and the Islamic States, and that [hat-tip to Sandwalk and gnxp]:

With a population of 6 billion individuals on the planet, there will be 120 x 6 x 109 = 7.2 x 10^11 new mutations in the population every generation. This means that every single nucleotide in our genome will be mutated in the human population every 20 years or so.

Evolution is a slow process that takes generations, but observable change can come about in 200 years or so. The longer the Gap exists, the longer the darwinian advantage of humanity’s “wild type” is prefered: The longer mass rapes exist, the more mass rapists will be favored, the longer mass murder exists, the longer mass murderers will be favored.

Domesticate humanity. Shrink the Gap.