Category Archives: Humor

The Path Past the End of the Road

When I first read the below I thought it was from a bizarre, parallel timeline of this world. Considering the state of our current politics, it may be from a saner world.

The Path Past the End of the Road

The New Republic

“We’ve all made mistakes in our lives,” Paul Wolfowitz says to the county fair crowd one early September twilight evening, “like a few poorly written op-eds.”

“Or the Iraq War!” cheerfully chimes in Maureen Dowd.

With this the crowd of a few dozen laughs. No matter where, the crowd always laughs at this line. Wolfowitz does a scripted “aww shucks” look and continues.

“Thanks for reminding me, Maureen.” A pause allows for a few more chuckles. “But in all seriousness folks, we’re here to make sure America never forgets the most important lesson.”

Dowd steps up to the edge of the stage with a motherly face meant to give instruction, “That George Bush should never be trusted with presidential powers again.” A silence falls over the crowd. People let it set in. They remember. Oh how they remember. Dowd continues, “Now I know everybody knows we raised millions to fund this trip. But Paul and I have decided that we cannot let our message be influenced special interests which once backed Georgie.”

“So we’re relying on the generosity of strangers for day-to-day supplies and gas. But you didn’t come here to hear that, you came here for our show!” Paul finishes as the local band starts playing. The DowdWolf Variety Hour begins to cheers and laughter. A dirt path continues where many thought America’s road had ended.

End of the Road?

Do you remember where you were when America “died”? Some people claim it died when George Will, in his infamous sore winners speech meant to introduce John McCain as the 2008 GOP nominee for President, instead played a video of Japanese-special education children reading “THE DARDENELLES OF THE BELTWAY.” Thompson became livid because the video was on repeat and he stormed the stage where the glowering Will stood. The chaos of the day spread and effectively ended the establishment’s control of both the GOP and Democratic parties.

Others claim America died when the constitutional (detractors call it the mob while supporters call it the shadow) presidential elections in 2008 and 2012 were voided by the Supreme Court who instead indefinitely extended the judicial (detractors call it the court-imposed fraud while supporters call it the people’s will) presidential election between John McCain and Jimmy Carter.

Still others claim America past away when the various peoples’ rallies on the National Mall against the crimes of Tina Leans became the main voice of America’s frustrations.

But a Path Continues…

But are things really that bad? The answer is, of course, no. Even in the darkest days we had Jimmy Carter reminding us that “it is okay to believe again.” While some feared his persuading the Supreme Court to basically dissolve the presidency was extreme, the eternal campaign has made both McCain and Carter voices of America. They are true heads of states. When one of the 2016 mob election candidates says something extreme, McCain and Carter remind us in their debates how Americans truly should act. The mob rabble is further tempered by Dowd and Wolfowitz shadowing their illegitimate debates with their variety show.

And the downfall of the two big parties has allowed for an American Spring in the legislatures. Now various groups have voices in the House and Senate. Rational, extremist, and even funny parties are born and die every month. Truly we have a people’s house as diverse as the people.

A Dirt Path Not Yet Paved

Now, thing aren’t perfect. Supreme Court Justice Afghanistan is back on the bench after his Supreme Court pardon, Russell Means passed away of old age while Bobby Means was reportedly gunned down by cops at a traffic stop, we have all heard stories of those who try to travel on the interstates at night, Tina Leans still lives somewhere in Europe trying to rally people against Pope-King Kow I, and the Kurdlifate is causing the large Arab refugee crisis which threatens to overrun the Old World.

But as I see Wolfowitz trying to fix his invisible kazoo, I am reminded of Jimmy Carters campaign slogan: it is okay to believe again. America continues not as it was, but as it is.

Review of “Overqualified,” by Joey Comeau

Overqualified is a humorous collection of terrible resume cover letters. Through them one gradually grows to know the weird narrator and has a number of laughs along the way.

Overqualified is not a deeply moving story int he way that Veins, another humorous novella, was. While Viens makes one seriously consider the man behind the laughter, in Overqualified we get a collection of really good laugh lines

I don’t make collect calls, I make the operator pay.

and

When a week had gone by, my lady friend asked, “Have you finished with my book yet?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, “but I’m finished with you.”

and

“You think that love has to last forever for it to be real. You think it isn’t true love unless it lasts until one of us is dead…. That isn’t love. That’s dog fighting.”

I mostly read Overqualified in two sittings. It was well worth the $8.59 price for the Kindle edition.

A Facebook Passion

My friend Adam of the Metropolis Times sent me to The Facebook Passion (PDF).

a_facebook_passion

I liked this comment:

The intention in the Facebook Passion is three fold:

(a) To express all the funny stuff we have thought about regarding the Passion, but were afraid to talk about;

(b) For those who may be “bored” or “jaded” with the Passion story to look at it in a new way, and thus to think about it again from a different angle;

(c) As a subversive form of evangelism. There are people who may read that who would never read the actual Biblical narratives. And the mockery of Bart Ehrman is a ploy to show how that kind of Enlightenment-Empirical reading of the text just misses the point entirely…

If I was going to use it with a youth group, I would point out how Ehrman’s reading of the text(s) just misses the point entirely. Are there divergences of viewpoint in the Gospels? Yes. Are the viewpoints divergent enough to cause questions? Some of them.

But, is it clear that there is core Reality of the Risen Christ that all four point to? Yes. Is it clear that this Risen Christ radically transformed the disciples in a way not accountable by merely psychological or sociological means? Yes. Does this Risen Christ still transform people in the same way? Yes.

Some people think that because the resurrection is BEYOND words to fully explain (i.e. mystical and miraculous) then it is somehow LESS than historical (i.e. mythical and magical). That’s a confusion of categories. It is only BEYOND words because it is FULLY historical. In CS Lewis’ words, Christ is the “MYTH become FACT”.

H/t Canter.

The All New Season of 24: “Financial Crisis”

Hour 1. Scene: The Senate Joint Committee to Investigate the Crimes of Jack Bauer

Stuffy Senate Committee Chairman: “Mr. Bauer, the charges brought against you by the committee today are quite serious. While you say that you had no choice but to impersonate the President, order the arrest of most of the Cabinet, dissolve the Senate, and, as you said, ‘Stop talking and start retrieving the Omega Device,” many of us here today…

Jack Bauer: May I remind YOU, we did retrieve the Omega Device

Stuffy Senator: “As I was saying, your extra-constitutional actions to retrieve a device that,as you said while impersonating our President, could ‘disolve matter into its most elemental forms’…”

Bauer: “Rashid Ivanovskov Yamato had already used the Omega Device to destroy CTU!”

Stuffy Senator: “And may I remind you that when you are on trial for dissolving the Senate, in the Senate, it may be wise to show a little…”

(Doors fly open. FBI agent Tina Leans marches in, striding to the front of the committee room):

Stuffy Senator: What is the meaning of this!

Agent Leans: I’m sorry, Mr. Chairman. Mr. Bauer needs to come with me. We are in a financial crisis. Orders of the President.

Hour 2. Scene: The Offices of Mr. Dawhler Pound Yurrow, International Financier

Jack: *punching Mr. Yurrow* Where are the points? Last I looked, the stock market was at 14,000, now it’s at less than 8,000! Where are the points? What did you do with the money?

Mr. Yurrow: I don’t know what you are talking about!

Jack: *punching more forcefully* Don’t give me that. The financial system is in crisis, and we have audiotapes of you driving down the price of stocks. Where did you drive those prices too?!?

Mr. Yurrow: I’ll never tell you!

Jack: *roughly drops Mr. Yurrow to the floor, and menacingly picks up a Hostess Cupcake (TM)* Do you like Hostess Cupcakes (TM), Mr. Yororw?

Mr. Yurrow: Why… yes. Hostess Cupcakes (TM) are delicious! Why?

Jack: You won’t after this!

Hour 3. D.C. Headquares, International Committee for Counter-Proliferation of W.M.D.. Main vault.

Jack (flanked by FBI Agents): Open up your vaults! We know the Dow Joints points are in here!

Strange man in business suit: I can’t!

Jack: Why not?

Strange man: There was… an accident. Humans can no longer tolerate exposure to the lost points. It is… dangerous…

Jack: *angrily* What’s going on?

Strange man: We wanted to double our money… It was just business. But there was an accident.. The assets… they are toxic!

Jack: You’re under arrest!

Hour 4. FBI Building, Integgoration room. Mr. Yurrow and the Strange Man are handcuffed to each other.

Jack: How do I decontaminate the toxic assets?

Mr. Yurrow: I won’t talk until I get immunity from the President!

Jack: That will never happen. *punches Mr. Yurrow, turns to the Strange Man.* You, who are you, and how we do clean those assets?

Strange Man: I’m afraid you’ll have to listen to my colleague, Mr. Bauer. I’m Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner!

Hour 5. Office of the Director of the FBI

Secretary Geithner (on the phone): Yes, Mr. President. I am sure the only way to save the economy is to grant a Presidential Pardon to Mr. Yurrow. *nods head* (to Bauer): “The President agrees. Mr. Yurrow is a free man.”

Mr. Yurrow: Untie me!

(Jack Bauer grudgingly unties Mr. Yurrow)

Secretary Geithner (on the phone): Yes, Mr. President. I am sure the only way to save the economy, now that you have pardoned Mr. Yurrow for stashing 6,000 Dow Jones basis points in a radioactive locker, is to decontamine those assets. Yes, Mr. President. We must give Mr. Yurrow billions — perhaps trillions — more in guarantees, and he promises that he will try very hard not to do it again. … * nods * ( to Bauer). After this meeting, escort Mr. Yurrow to the Treasury Department. He has a couple of tons of money to pick up.

Mr. Yurrow: I knew I would win!

Bauer: *attempts to contain rage*

Secretary Geithner (on the phone): Yes, Mr. President. I am sure the only way to save the economy, now that you have pardoned Mr. Yurrow and printed billions of dollars, is to arrest Jack Bauer, a traitor to the United….

Bauer (leaps up): This can’t be! This isn’t change I can believe in!

(Bauer lunges at Secretary Geithner, but as he tries to throw a punch, his ring gets stuck in something).

Jack Bauer: “What… the?…”

(Secretary Geithner’s face is revealed to be a mask. Jack Bauer rips it off, reveleaing…)

Jack Bauer: Former Secretary of the Treasury Hank Paulson!

Secretary Geithner/Paulson: Waa haa haa haa haa!

* 24 clock sound*

Huckalerts!

I laughed so hard at this satire that it hurts:

Huckalerts: Hi! Thank you for subscribing to Huckafacts! We are glad you are excited about Mike Huckabee!

Did you know…MIKE HUCKABEE SUPPORTS TOBACCO BIODIESEL? IT’S A HUCKAFACT!

You can donate to Mike Huckabee’s campaign at MikeHuckabee.com. Join the Huckaarmy.

Jared: UNSUBSCRIBE

Huckalerts: You have UNSUBSCRIBED from the Huckaarmy mailing list! We’re sorry to see you desert your post, soldier. Please enter a reason for betraying your fellow Huckawarriors.

Jared: UNSUBSCRIBE

Huckalerts: Hi! Huckalerts has received two messages from you in a row that we can’t understand. If you would like to speak to a live representative then type HUCKAHELP.

Read the whole thing.

The Dardanelles of the Beltway

It’s been a while since George Will has been politically relevant, but faithful reader PKA has obtained a draft copy of a column that will run the week of Fred Thompson’s announcement.


Washington Post columnist George Will

Will’s column will make a splash, and potentially cause troubles for the Thompson campaign:

The British navy found that, despite seemingly favorably odds, the Dardanelles Channel guarding Constantinople proved impenetrable for His Majesty’s Navy.

Fred Thompson is about the learn the same.

I sit here, staring at an asp I purchased a week before yesterday. An asp of the same variety as took the life of Cleopatra Makedonus. I purchased the snake for one reason.

If Fred Thompson wins the party nomination, I will kill myself.

There is party suicide and there is personal suicide. There shall not be one without the other.

If Fred Thompson steps up to the podium in Saint Paul to accept the Republican National Committee’s nomination for President, I will step down from this mortal coil. If he shuffles on stage, I shuffle off.

For the great majority of contemporary Americans without an exposure to the classics, I will repeat myself in the vulgate of our times

If Fred Thompson wins the primary, I will kill myself.

As the generational struggle against Muscovy taught Americans “Better dead than Red,” I now say: “Better dead than under Fred.”

I present this challenge to Senator Thompson, a fake prosecutor on a fake crime show and a very real deadbeat: if you continue to run, you will kill me.

This is not an idle threat, nor misdirected scorn. My standards, my virtue, my honesty, my determination are beyond doubt. To crib, perhaps, the third-person form of address made famous by the World War veteran from Kansas: “George Will does not lie. George Will tells the truth.”

“If Fred Thompson wins, George Will dies.”

Senator Thompson, save America, and save my life.

Don’t run.

Don’t run the Dardanelles of the Beltway.

Fred Thompson apparently heard of this slightly below I did, as his YouTube response is already up:


Senator Thompson responds to George Will


Transcript:

(YouTube video: Thompson reads the article, smiles, turns to the camera and takes out his cigar.)

Dardenelles of the Beltway? I don’t know what you New England drama queens see in an ancient Napoleonic treaty; I have an campaign to conduct.

The fact is, Georgey, that your liberal ideas are bankrupt. Just like how they will bankrupt our country. Its time for change; its time for Fred.

Now if you excuse me, I have an acceptance speech that I need to write.

(Thompson begins to turn away but pauses then quickly looks back into the camera)

Oh and be careful. I hear that asps bite.

(Thompson chuckles and the video ends)

A Very Cthulhu Parody of Anti-Catholic Bigot Jack Chick

Jack Chick isn’t just a cartoonist occasionally lampooned by :

penny_arcade_chick_cropped

He’s also an anti-Catholic Bigot

In 2000, he started the Bible series of his tracts, which starred one of his more famous creations, a Fundamentalist Christian man named Bob Williams. Bob, a rather smug character, would always appear to lead people down the correct path, though he was not always successful (see Gladys), and the Bible Series has served as a collection of many of Chick’s core beliefs on topics such as evolution, witchcraft, and the Catholic Church.

Jack Chick has been heavily criticised for his views. His anti-Catholicism was not immediately evident in his earliest cartoons, and seems to have evolved during the mid to late 1960s. Several earlier comics were re-edited in the 1970s to reflect Chick’s changing views on the Vatican. Example: a portrayal of the Antichrist, originally drawn as a man wearing a business suit, was changed to show the Pope in later editions of the same tract. The early 20th century pamphlet The Two Babylons was influential in popularizing a view — held by Chick — that the Roman Catholic Church is really a continuation of Babylonian religious practices.

(That is, a bigot who is anti-Catholic):

A recurring theme in Chick’s tracts is the role of the Roman Catholic Church, which he presents as one of the most powerful and insidious branches of this conspiracy. According to Chick the Catholic Church is the ‘Great Whore’ referred to in the Book of Revelation, and will bring about a Satanic New World Order before it is destroyed by Jesus Christ.

Drawing on the dubious claims of Alberto Rivera, Chick claims that the Catholic Church helped to mold Islam as a tool to lure people away from Christianity, that it infiltrates and attempts to destroy or corrupt all other religions and churches , and that it uses various means including seduction, framing, and murder to silence its critics. He accuses Catholicism of supporting ideologies such as Nazism and Communism, and using the Holocaust to persecute opponents of the Catholic Church.

He also sued a cartoonist for this hilarious parody: “WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST?

01
Who Will Be Eaten First?

02
One day, while sitting in a cafe

George, it’s vital that you make the right decision before you die.

03
You’re gonna say I have to choose between God and the devil, right?

WRONG!

04
The stars are right! The Elder Gods are going to rise and eat us all!

In his house at R’ley dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”
-HP Lovecraft

05
Soon the evil spawn, who had slept for eons… will awaken to clear the earth of man!

That is not dead which can eternal lie… And with strange aeons, even death may die.” – H.P.L.

06
NO ONE will be saved! EVERYONE will die and mankind itself will come to a horrible end!

“… I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars that dream beneath the sea… ” HPL

07
Soon the seas will turn red with the blood of the human race, as the unspeakable terrors come from beyond the gate, which is Yog Sothoth, to devour all in their path! Ia! Shub Niggurath! Ia! Ia!

08
So if we’re all gonna die, what difference does it make? Who cares? Nothing I can do about it…

or is there?!

09
You’re right George… It’s hopeless. But there is one thing we can hope for…

TO BE EATEN FIRST!

10
BE EATEN FIRST?!

What the fuck kind of advantage is that?!

Give me one good reason why I would WANT to be eaten first!

ONE GOOD REASON!!!

11
Do you really want to stick around and watch the entire world be destroyed by evil creatures from beyond Hell?

Not really…

12
Oh God… you’re right… I don’t want to see it all end!

I want to be eaten quickly!

What do I have to do to make my death a swift one?

The thing cannot be described – there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy…” HPL

13
You must worship and sacrifice at the altar to appease the appetites of the Elder Gods! Then you may hope for a fast death!

Ph’lngu! mghw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagi fhtagn!

WAAAHH!

Gasp… This can’t be!

CTHULHU FHTAGN!

14
Chant invocations from the NECRONOMICON, the book of dead names written by the Mad Monk, Abdul Alhazred!

15
Only then… on the dreaded day when they rise… Will you be eaten first!

16_md
The Elder Gods are coming and everyone is doomed!

You might as well party and do all the ship you were always afraid to do!

NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU.
WE WILL ALL BE EATEN.

If yhou start to have dreams about cities where the geometry is all wrong and get inspired to make weird sculptures, do it!

1. Don’t worry about going mad.
There’s no avoiding it.

2. Be prepared for horrible visions and creatures that will chill you to the bone!
3. Remember… Yog Sothoth is the gate!

What to say!
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

If you have done all this, and you go completely mad… the Elder Gods will eat you first! Or maybe not… maybe they’ll torture you in their dank and rotting lairs… but you won’t care by then because you’ll be insane! A shell of a human being! BWA HA HA HA HA!

Just remember…
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die!

Help another person go mad with the knowledge of the horrible evil! Give them this book:

NECRONOMICON


Do I have anything good to say about Jack Chick — a man who says Catholocism is a Babylonian Plot, Islam is a Catholic Plot, and Communism is a Islamic Catholic Plot? Yes. Even though he threatens -style strategic lawsuits against public participation, he has a write to make his claims. As the says

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Jack Chick has a write to spread his beliefs. So-called “hate speech” regulations, whether on campuses or for entire countries, would take away Chick’s right to proselytize as he believes The Lamb wishes him to do so.

Chick has a right to speech. So do the men he has sued.

Allawi’s Law, Season 3

Allawi’s Law: Season Three Trailer

Allawi’s Law, developed by a long-time reader, is a reimagining of , but with international politicians in all the major roles. The Season 2 Teaser came out in March 2005, so it is about time for the Season 3 Trailer…

Enjoy!

The trailer immediately begins in an afternoon sun-lit room. Standing up and visibly nervous is L. Paul Bremer. Sitting down is the new chief of police, Colin Powell.

City Councilman L. Paul Bremer

Bremer: He’s been a problem in my side since day one. Even now I, a city council member, have to put up with Allawi. There’s nothing I can do! But he’s your problem now.

Powell: Wrong Bremer. He’s OUR problem. I will set things up but we have to finish him together. Remember that I made you.

colin_powell
Colin Powell: The New Chief of Police

Bremer (Close to panicking): But I’m my own man now!

Powell (Angier in his voice): Fool! Voinovich thought the same thing and now he is crying like a baby because of what I did to him! We must take out Allawi!

Voinovich: Another of Powell’s Many Victims…

Bremer: I’ll help you get Allawi but then I’m out. What do you have in mind?

Iyad Allawi: The Shield of Justice

Powell: Sharon.

ariel_sharon
Ariel Sharon: Working with Internal Affairs?

Screen shows Bremer’s shocked expression while an announcer’s voice is heard.

Announcer: This fall, Allawi’s Law meets its biggest challenge yet.

Screen shows Sharon making a speech in front of the other cops.

Sharon: Due to Chalibi’s leave of absence I am now head of Internal Affairs. The strike team will have a new leader since I’m busting Allawi down. Everyone, meet Shimon Peres.

Peres: Thank you my friend. I pledge allegiance to the victor.

Shimon_Peres
Shimon Peres: Unlikely Ally for Ariel Sharon?

Camera moves to show Allawi and the strike team’s shocked expression. Allawi runs up to Powell.

Allawi: What is this?

Powell: Your downfall, of course.

Next scene shows Powell alone with two of Allawi’s lieutenants.

Announcer: Loyalties will be tested.

1st Lieutenant (With malice in his voice): What do you want?

Powell: You know what I want. Allawi. And I’ll reward those who give him to me.

The first lieutenant spits at Powell but the second lieutenant, played by Gordon Brown, appears to think about the proposal in his head.

The subsequent scene has Allawi and the Lieutenants at a bar discussing plans and events.

Allawi: The strike team did what?

1st Lieutenant: We were forced to arrest your old partner, Netanyahu on charges of trying to impede the investigation of al-Jaafari.

medium_benjamin_netanyahu.jpg
Benjamin Netanyahu: Framed by Colin Powell?

Allawi: What? That’s nonsense!

Brown: What are you going to do?

medium_battle_royale_3.jpg
Gordon Brown: Loyal Deputy to Iyad Allawi

Allawi: Try to save me, the team, Bibi, and take down Powell and al-Jaafari.

Announcer: This season will be a long, dark night for Allawi

The final part is grayed-out. Allawi is sitting hunched over. He is looking down away from the camera. Johnny Cash’s Hurt is playing on the soundtrack. Voice-overs are heard.

Allawi: Who is setting me up? My team?

1st Lieutenant: Gordon, you told Sharon about the money train?!?

Allawi: My enemies?

Peres: Officer Sharon, the strike team is turning on itself.

Allawi: My allies?

Brown: Don’t shoot! Bolton is Allawi’s friend!

josh_bolton_md

Will John Bolton be able to save Iyad Allawi?

Sharon: I know.

BAM!

Condi Rice: You can’t be here Allawi. You’re a wanted man. What are you going to do?
Allawi: Take them all down.

medium_condi.jpg

Condoleeza Rice: Allawi’s Last Friend Inside the Department?

Allawi then looks up into the camera with a stern look.

Announcer: This fall, Allawi stands up for justice!

The European Dream, by Jeremy Rifkin

Jeremy Rifkin’s “The European Dream: Europe Reaps the Whirlwind,” with a New Chapter by the Author: “Dhimmitude for Dummies

Combining two photos from South Dakota Politics about the French riots with an earlier tdaxp pic, I present the future of the Old Continent:

european_nightmare_md
The European Nightmare

Interestingly, the author of the similarly europhile The United States of Europe wil be visiting UNL later this academic year.

The Downfall of Tina Leans (Geopolitical Fan Fiction)

What follows is an involved parody, a swaydo sequel to the pseudo-series Allawi’s Law.

TV Trailer Script

Reign of Fire: The Downfall of Tina Leans

The trailer opens with Requiem for a Dream’s overture. The Tina Leans’ character sits on a stool hunch over thinking about the events of her life. The background is dark.
Voiceovers:
Man 1: You’re a loose cannon!
Man 2: She must be stopped
Man 3: On national TV! She said that on national TV!
Tina’s voice: I will betray America

Narrator: See her life from her point of view. How a young patriot….
Image of Tina graduating from the FBI Academy
Narrator: …. went bad
Footage of Tina, as a page/intern, handing classified documents to Senator Kow on the House Waize and Means committee.

Narrator: How she meet the Kurds for the first time….
Tina meets the Kurds (played by Albanians). Together plotting on killing the President in Damascus (played by Russell Means).

Tina to Kurds: Then it’s agreed. This “peace” will be mutually bad to everyone’s business and the most popular, beloved president of all time must die.
One of the Kurds then starts to hand out guns and drugs.
Tina: No thanks. I only snort the stuff I grow in the daycare’s playroom.

Narrator: Also starring Benjamin Netanyahu as Ehud Barak
Barak: Who should we betray? The United States or Israel?
Tina: Why not both?

medium_benjamin_netanyahu.jpg

Narrator: And learn the inside story on how one brave street cop ended the national nightmare
Allawi: (Yelling at his unseen boss) Two people a week is too high of a body count anywhere, including Alexandria, Virginia!
Camera view switches to L. Paul Bremer, Allawi’s boss
Bremer: (Angier, frustration in his voice) I know Allawi! (Calms down to a whisper) I know…… But the only way to end the madness is to….
Allawi: Stop Tina Leans.

Narrator: And see the final confrontation
Tina and Allawi are in a control room. Allawi points a gun at Tina and yells

Allawi: Step away from the launch pad!

Trailer closes with Tina back on the stool in the black background room. Requiem for a Dream’s overture plays once again.
Narrator: This fall, see “Reign of Fire: The Downfall on Tina Leans” based on Tina Lean’s own book recently released, From Kurdistan to Candyland.
Trailer ends with the Tina character’s eyes staring directly into the camera.

FBI Special Agent Dr. Leans’ Reaction, while watching the TV trailer

Hey, that’s Rina Lensi, why is she on TV?

WHAT????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I helped end the committee!

Those are Albanians!

WHAT??????????????????

I never meet him!

WE WERE FRIENDS! He held a good-bye party for me!

WHAT?????!!!???!!!???!!!???

No! That’s not what my book is about! Its about politics. Its not an autobio!