Tag Archives: parody

Dozier Internet Law Satires and Parodies

A couple funnies on the Dozier Internet Law saga (you know, the guys who threatned Information Scams and executes code on your computer without letting you see it). The first three are from Brendan of I Hate Linux:

The Lawyers against free speech (that they disagree with)

Pay up or we’ll sue!

Pay no attention to the HTML behind the curtain

The last link is a satire of Dozier’s homepage.

New Bob Woodward / Valerie Plame Scandal Emerges

Sources: Plame Learned Covert Status from Woodward,” by Scott Ott, Scrappleface, 16 November 2005, http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=2072 (from The Corner).

An extreme form of 5GW, apparently:

Special Prosecutor , who secured grand jury indictments against a top Bush administration official last month, today announced he may be close to discovering who told that she was an undercover CIA agent.

Mr. Fitzgerald refused to release any names, but sources close to the probe said evidence indicates that the Washington Post’s may have revealed Ms. Plame’s covert status to her.

The prosecutor declined to comment on Mr. Woodward’s possible connection to the case, instead he focused on Ms. Plame’s apparent ignorance of her role at the Central Intelligence Agency.

“In the months, and even years, leading up to July 2003, Valerie Plame was not behaving like someone who knew she was a covert agent,” said Mr. Fitzgerald. “The woman friends knew as Mrs. seems to have learned of her undercover status at about the same time a reference to her appeared in Robert Novak’s syndicated column.”

The prosecutor said it may be a violation of federal law to reveal a CIA agent’s covert status to the agent.

“We’re looking at what’s called ‘deep deep cover’ in the intel community,” Mr. Fitzgerald said. “In other words, the CIA unwittingly may have been using Mrs. Wilson as an undercover agent without her knowledge, or the knowledge of anyone else at the Agency.”

Meanwhile, as former vice presidential chief of staff I. Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby awaits trial on five counts of hindering the CIA leak probe, Mr. Novak and Mr. Woodward remain at large.

Scrappleface has been featured on tdaxp before.

Larry Dunbar on Mujahid Humor

Hi Dan, You just PISRRed the enemy,” by Larry Dunbar , tdaxp, 13 October 2005, http://www.tdaxp.com/archive/2005/07/09/dan-abu-td-axp-al-iksperiyenciyya-mujahidi.html#c296954.

No Longer Feared ‘Freedom’ Fighters?

My dress-up as an Muslim holy warrior has been getting some interesting responses, noticing, jokes, a death threat, etc. But the most creative contribution came from Larry Dunbar. His thoughts:

Hi Dan,

You just PISRRed the enemy. But then you probably know that. These images are your attempt to Subvert-Reorient-Reharmonize and maybe even to Isolate the enemy.

Implicit laws form and maintain an organization. With a terrorist organization such as Al Qaeda these laws take the form of pictures or, in other words, images inside the head. These images so far include a tall Arab calmly telling the world how he is going to strike and destroy the greatest powers in the world. They show the destruction of symbols of that power taken of the WTC on 9/11. They maintain these images with pictures of burnt out cars and craters. These images are also maintained by videos of suicide bombers before they attack, IED’s going off and any other successful acts attributed to the Al Qaeda organization. The need for these images is so important that if you were to replace the image of the burning constitution on your blog with a terrorist holding a bunny rabbit, or some other offensive image, my guess is your site, if not you personally, would suffer a vertical attack of some kind. Al Qaeda could not afford to have this kind of image of themselves, if your blog still is as relevant as you said it once was.

The OODA loop of this kind of organization is unlike any other. For one thing it is very slow. For another, instead of looping back to Orientation, Al Qaeda loops theirs back to Observation. They only have to go through the Orientation strategy as they Decide and carry out the Act. Because the image of the Act is so important, failure cannot be tolerated. That is one reason they like car bombs so well. Not only does it create an image that lasts inside the heads of the communities and families of the car bombers, but also they are highly successful. Because this organization practices such an old form of warfare, I call this type of warfare Zero Generation Warfare (ZGW). It gets its strength from its simplicity. It doesn’t need a lot of dogma, simply a successful plan that will produce an image that will give its members a feeling of importance or belonging. When this type of organization becomes too successful and the acts are seen not to be important, the organization simply disappears.

I need some time to think before I try to answer this. Anyone else?

New John Bolton Scandal Emerges

Bolton Roid Rage: Did Canseco Inject Nominee?,” by Scott Ott, ScrappleFace, 22 April 2005, (from One Free Korea).

A funny.

Republican members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee revealed today that they have stalled the confirmation of John Bolton as U.N. Ambassador to investigate claims by Jose Canseco that the former Major League Baseball slugger had injected Mr. Bolton with steroids on several occasions.

If Mr. Canseco’s allegations prove true, it would help to explain Mr. Bolton’s oft-reported bouts of rage, and perhaps engender sympathy from Senators who would see his anger as a medical issue rather than a personality defect.

In addition, it would provide Congress with another welcome opportunity to engage in America’s national legislative pastime, which is probing steroid abuse.

IMAO Bought by the Koreans (Good)

Frequently Asked Questions, IMAO America, 2005, http://imao.us/faq.htm.

medium_whs.gifimao.us, a so-so blog that linked to me the other day lost its domain name recently.

It’s now owned by IMAO, a Korean tools firm.

From the new FAQ:

Q. When will IMAO products be available in U.S.?
A. Early in April 2005. Shipments to Canada come very soon.

Q. Are IMAO grips ergonomic and OSHA compliant?
A. Yes IMAO grips and handwheel give great comfort in the hand.

Q. How will IMAO products help my business?
A. IMAO helps customer to maximize their labor saving by providing standardized components for industrial devices and machines.

Q. What happed to previous site at this URL?
A. Previous owner sold URL to help the IMAO expansions into North American market. If you liek American humor, then you should also consider well manufactured IMAO grips and handwheels.

You know what? Good. imao’s “Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated.” motto made a laughing stock of truly objective and disinterested newes sources such as Fox News. So long blogs. From now on, I’m trusting the pros.

Got You Good

U.S. to Fight Terror With Terror,” The Onion, http://www.pamolson.org/OnionTerror.htm.

Iraqi Police Use Kidnappers’ Videos to Fight Crime,” by Christine Hauser, New York Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/05/international/middleeast/05mosul.html, 5 February 2005 (from One Free Korea).

From parody…

WASHINGTON, DC—In a response to recent acts of extreme violence against Americans in Iraq and mounting criticism of U.S. military policy at home, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced the government’s new strategy of fighting terror with terror Monday.

“Look, in order to catch a rat, you gotta think like one,” Rumsfeld said in a grainy and degraded videotape message filmed at an unknown location and released to CNN Monday. “We’ve been pussy-footing around the war on terrorism for years. All that time, the answer was right in front of us: In order to wipe out terror around the globe, once and for all, we’ve gotta beat them at their own game.”

On the seven-minute tape, Rumsfeld is joined by counter-terrorist leaders Vice-President Dick Cheney and Attorney General John Ashcroft, each seated on folding chairs in front of an American flag. Ashcroft described some tactics the government currently uses—pre-dawn assaults on civilian targets and subjecting potential stateside traitors to psychological intimidation—as a “small step in the right direction.”

“It’s time to get this war over with,” Cheney said. “The philosopher Eric Hoffer said, ‘You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.’ Well, we’ve been observing, but finally we’ve started taking notes. We’ll have these terrorists running scared in no time.” Cheney urged Americans to “be on alert” in upcoming months.

To reality…

MOSUL, Iraq, Feb. 4 – In one scene, the videotape shows three kidnappers with guns and a knife, preparing to behead a helpless man who is gagged and kneeling at their feet.

In the next, it is one of the kidnappers who is in detention, his eyes wide with fear, his lips trembling, as he speaks to his interrogators.

“How do I say this?” says the kidnapper, identified as an Egyptian named Abdel-Qadir Mahmoud, holding back tears. “I am sorry for everything I have done.”


In the first week after the elections, the Iraqi Interior Ministry and the Mosul police chief are turning the tables on the insurgency here in the north by using a tactic – videotaped messages – that the insurgents have used time and again as they have terrorized the region with kidnappings and executions.

But this time the videos, which are being broadcast on a local station, carry an altogether different message, juxtaposing images of the masked killers with the cowed men they become once captured.

In another segment, after mentioning that Iraqi security forces had engaged in a gun battle, an Iraqi official says, as if making a grim public service announcement: “This is how we will treat the people beheading you.” The video then showed what appeared to be a body covered by a sheet.

But seriously, this is a great step forward.

Iraq is fighting a civil war against Ba’athist and Salafist terrorists and the Sunni Arab tribes that support them. Iraqi knows what impresses these thugs; we know what makes them think they are men. For years the world has been listening to the Ba’athi-Salafist language of violence. Now our allies have are speaking that language.

Free Iraq is the balance. A free Middle East is in the balance, and because we have bringing this freedom Americna strength is in the balance. Iraq is treating these anti-Iraqi terrorists like the non-persons they are.