Tag Archives: satire

Putin! jumps the shark

Tom Clancy’s Putin! began its run on December 31, 1999, as a spin-off of the political-military thriller, The Hunt for Red October. V.V. Putin (named I.Y. Putin in the original series) debuted in the first pages of the novel

For the hundredth time Ramius told himself that Putin was the perfect political officer. His voice was always too loud, his humor too affected. He never allowed a person to forget what he was. The perfect political officer, Putin was an easy man to fear.

… and while he appeared to have be killed by Captain Ramius in the opening minutes, the pilot episode of Tom Clancy’s Putin!├é┬árevealed that he had been secretly smuggled out of the ship, and transferred to political duties inside the Kremlin. Though some critics raised questions as to the likelihood of his rise to the presidency, paralleling another Tom Clancy character, the first seasons of Tom Clancy’s Putin! were promising. Mysterious helicopter crashes, Muslim rebels, and even Wall Street Shenanigans combined to entertain viewers turned off by The War On Terror (starring Kiefer Sutherland).

On-set problems led to a defection of much of the writing staff, however, and as years rolled on qualities suffered. The Rigged Re-election subplot of 2004 was derided as particularly improbable, as writers had previously established Putin’s popularity with the Russian people. Attempts to attract younger viewers with a radiation poisinong subplot also faired ill, as many criticized the “cartoonish” and “needlessly theatrical” methods off killing of periphrial characters.

The unorthodox decision to kick off the last full season of Tom Clancy’s Putin! on January 1 (instead of the early fall or early spring convention used by other networks) likewise did poorly. Advertising executives universally criticized the unorthodox decision to debut the Marching through Georgia subplot of Tom Clancy’s Putin! opposite The Beijing Olympic Games, resulting in depressed viewershp, and audiences were left frustrated that heavy foreshadowing implying that Putin would hang series-regular Saakashvili “by the balls” came to naught. Finally, the writers’ decision to have Putin lose billions in sub-prime assets, while an effort to keep the show topical, struck audiences as simply requiring too much suspension of disbelief.

Heavy promotions for “The All New Season of Tom Clancy’s Putin!!” do not appear to be paying off for the show’s producers. The revelation that Putin’s enemies were being organized by a secretative cabal of Communist-Nazi anti-immigration activists caused Robert Ebert to exclaim, “Tom Clancy’s Putin! has lost touch with all history, logic, or sense.” Likewise, Putin’s reaction to a a loss of his credit cards with a plan to make his own credit card company introduced a slap-stick, absurdist humor that alienated the long-running series’ few original fans.

(The last one of these is true, by the way)

MOSCOW: So you don’t like how the world’s largest credit rating agencies rate your economy? Create your own.

That’s what Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin proposed at a cabinet meeting Monday.

“All of us understand the enormous influence enjoyed by rating agencies and the drastic effects their mistakes, let alone abuses, may have,” Putin said, according to a government transcript.

With Russia’s economy sinking, the ruble battered, its markets hammered by investors and its sovereign credit rating downgraded, Putin has complained his country isn’t getting a fair shake.

He told ministers that Russian companies and the government was too dependent on international agencies like Standard & Poor’s, Fitch and Moody’s.

Read the full article, as Associated Press

LOL

Having recently survived a seminar on Discourse Analysis, I say “hear hear!”

Gene Expression: Richard Dawkins – Islamophobe?
The trend is obvious: the Islamic world-view seems well suited toward acceptance of Creationism as an alternative model toward evolutionary theory. Fact: Richard Dawkins will have to accept that multiculturalism entails respect of Difference and the Different Ways of Knowing of the Other. The Enlightenment Project (EP) which marries scientism with atheism is not cultural-fair; rather, it serves as an appropriate corrective to the over-rationalism of Western Roman Catholic Christianity. On the other hand, the EP is not an appropriate lens to apply to a non-Western culture, which has developed along its own evolutionary path which brings it to a different set of values. An alternative tint to the mirror through which humanity views the world darkly if you will. Whatever corrective there may be to non-Western dogma and rigidity, the assertions of Dead White Men and their contemporary Amen Choir are not appropriate cures!

Shouldn’t we all have been born speaking upper-class British accents?

Huckalerts!

I laughed so hard at this satire that it hurts:

Huckalerts: Hi! Thank you for subscribing to Huckafacts! We are glad you are excited about Mike Huckabee!

Did you know…MIKE HUCKABEE SUPPORTS TOBACCO BIODIESEL? IT’S A HUCKAFACT!

You can donate to Mike Huckabee’s campaign at MikeHuckabee.com. Join the Huckaarmy.

Jared: UNSUBSCRIBE

Huckalerts: You have UNSUBSCRIBED from the Huckaarmy mailing list! We’re sorry to see you desert your post, soldier. Please enter a reason for betraying your fellow Huckawarriors.

Jared: UNSUBSCRIBE

Huckalerts: Hi! Huckalerts has received two messages from you in a row that we can’t understand. If you would like to speak to a live representative then type HUCKAHELP.

Read the whole thing.

Dozier Internet Law Satires and Parodies

A couple funnies on the Dozier Internet Law saga (you know, the guys who threatned Information Scams and executes code on your computer without letting you see it). The first three are from Brendan of I Hate Linux:


The Lawyers against free speech (that they disagree with)

Pay up or we’ll sue!

Pay no attention to the HTML behind the curtain

The last link is a satire of Dozier’s homepage.

Over-hypped, if not imaginary

The mainstrea media is so locked into its liberal v. conservative stupidity that often real stories are not told, because they do not fit some stereotype of what political debate should be. Fortunately, youtube journalists (the video equiavalent of bloggers) have stepped up. I agree with My Everything that the threat Bush cites is overypped, if not imaginary.

Everything has covered previous Bush press conferences before, as well as Attorney General Gonzales’s disturbing testimony before the House of Representatives.

The Dardanelles of the Beltway

It’s been a while since George Will has been politically relevant, but faithful reader PKA has obtained a draft copy of a column that will run the week of Fred Thompson’s announcement.


Washington Post columnist George Will

Will’s column will make a splash, and potentially cause troubles for the Thompson campaign:

The British navy found that, despite seemingly favorably odds, the Dardanelles Channel guarding Constantinople proved impenetrable for His Majesty’s Navy.

Fred Thompson is about the learn the same.

I sit here, staring at an asp I purchased a week before yesterday. An asp of the same variety as took the life of Cleopatra Makedonus. I purchased the snake for one reason.

If Fred Thompson wins the party nomination, I will kill myself.

There is party suicide and there is personal suicide. There shall not be one without the other.

If Fred Thompson steps up to the podium in Saint Paul to accept the Republican National Committee’s nomination for President, I will step down from this mortal coil. If he shuffles on stage, I shuffle off.

For the great majority of contemporary Americans without an exposure to the classics, I will repeat myself in the vulgate of our times

If Fred Thompson wins the primary, I will kill myself.

As the generational struggle against Muscovy taught Americans “Better dead than Red,” I now say: “Better dead than under Fred.”

I present this challenge to Senator Thompson, a fake prosecutor on a fake crime show and a very real deadbeat: if you continue to run, you will kill me.

This is not an idle threat, nor misdirected scorn. My standards, my virtue, my honesty, my determination are beyond doubt. To crib, perhaps, the third-person form of address made famous by the World War veteran from Kansas: “George Will does not lie. George Will tells the truth.”

“If Fred Thompson wins, George Will dies.”

Senator Thompson, save America, and save my life.

Don’t run.

Don’t run the Dardanelles of the Beltway.

Fred Thompson apparently heard of this slightly below I did, as his YouTube response is already up:


Senator Thompson responds to George Will


Transcript:

(YouTube video: Thompson reads the article, smiles, turns to the camera and takes out his cigar.)

Dardenelles of the Beltway? I don’t know what you New England drama queens see in an ancient Napoleonic treaty; I have an campaign to conduct.

The fact is, Georgey, that your liberal ideas are bankrupt. Just like how they will bankrupt our country. Its time for change; its time for Fred.

Now if you excuse me, I have an acceptance speech that I need to write.

(Thompson begins to turn away but pauses then quickly looks back into the camera)

Oh and be careful. I hear that asps bite.

(Thompson chuckles and the video ends)