“Stop Comparing Me to American Moonbats,” by “Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi,” Iowa Hawk, 5 July 2005, http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2005/07/stop_comparing_.html (from Little Green Footballs through TigerHawk).
As a holy activist battling infidel crusaders and their heretic lackeys here in Mesopotamia, Allah knows I have to have a thick skin. Still, every once in a while, Iâ€™ll run across something that really gets my blood boiling. For instance, after my last opinion piece I got this nastygram from some choad over in Great Satanland:
I am appalled and sickened that anyone would draw a parellel between Al-Zarqawi and the American Left.
Oh, ya think? Well, I got news for you, Moby: Iâ€™m not exactly thrilled about any such comparison MYSELF, okay? See, I didnâ€™t spend the last ten years crawling in the sand at jihad training camp, getting my knuckles thwacked by an Imam every time I forgot a Quran verse, and living in smelly Baghdad safehouse just to get compared to a bunch of trucker-hat AltWeekly motards from Austin and Seattle.
Me, like the American Left? I mean, are you fucking joking me?
Next, when you string up some smoldering infidel carcasses from a Fallujah bridge, theyâ€™re all like, â€œfuck yeah, screw those mercenaries! High five, man! Câ€™mon, man, donâ€™t leave me hanginâ€™ bro!â€ But where were these guys when there was dismemberment and heavy carcass-lifting to do? Updating the UBB scripts on their fucking message boards, thatâ€™s where.
It’s not fair, and I swear to Allah the next time somebody tries to link the jihad with these infidel dipshits, I am totally going to snap. And the next time one of you chicken martyrs puts on a keffiya and starts babbling about â€œsolidarity with the resistance,â€ remember this: just because we are planning to kill you last doesnâ€™t make you our buddy.