A Very Cthulhu Parody of Anti-Catholic Bigot Jack Chick

Jack Chick isn’t just a cartoonist occasionally lampooned by :


He’s also an anti-Catholic Bigot

In 2000, he started the Bible series of his tracts, which starred one of his more famous creations, a Fundamentalist Christian man named Bob Williams. Bob, a rather smug character, would always appear to lead people down the correct path, though he was not always successful (see Gladys), and the Bible Series has served as a collection of many of Chick’s core beliefs on topics such as evolution, witchcraft, and the Catholic Church.

Jack Chick has been heavily criticised for his views. His anti-Catholicism was not immediately evident in his earliest cartoons, and seems to have evolved during the mid to late 1960s. Several earlier comics were re-edited in the 1970s to reflect Chick’s changing views on the Vatican. Example: a portrayal of the Antichrist, originally drawn as a man wearing a business suit, was changed to show the Pope in later editions of the same tract. The early 20th century pamphlet The Two Babylons was influential in popularizing a view — held by Chick — that the Roman Catholic Church is really a continuation of Babylonian religious practices.

(That is, a bigot who is anti-Catholic):

A recurring theme in Chick’s tracts is the role of the Roman Catholic Church, which he presents as one of the most powerful and insidious branches of this conspiracy. According to Chick the Catholic Church is the ‘Great Whore’ referred to in the Book of Revelation, and will bring about a Satanic New World Order before it is destroyed by Jesus Christ.

Drawing on the dubious claims of Alberto Rivera, Chick claims that the Catholic Church helped to mold Islam as a tool to lure people away from Christianity, that it infiltrates and attempts to destroy or corrupt all other religions and churches , and that it uses various means including seduction, framing, and murder to silence its critics. He accuses Catholicism of supporting ideologies such as Nazism and Communism, and using the Holocaust to persecute opponents of the Catholic Church.

He also sued a cartoonist for this hilarious parody: “WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST?

Who Will Be Eaten First?

One day, while sitting in a cafe

George, it’s vital that you make the right decision before you die.

You’re gonna say I have to choose between God and the devil, right?


The stars are right! The Elder Gods are going to rise and eat us all!

In his house at R’ley dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”
-HP Lovecraft

Soon the evil spawn, who had slept for eons… will awaken to clear the earth of man!

That is not dead which can eternal lie… And with strange aeons, even death may die.” – H.P.L.

NO ONE will be saved! EVERYONE will die and mankind itself will come to a horrible end!

“… I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars that dream beneath the sea… ” HPL

Soon the seas will turn red with the blood of the human race, as the unspeakable terrors come from beyond the gate, which is Yog Sothoth, to devour all in their path! Ia! Shub Niggurath! Ia! Ia!

So if we’re all gonna die, what difference does it make? Who cares? Nothing I can do about it…

or is there?!

You’re right George… It’s hopeless. But there is one thing we can hope for…



What the fuck kind of advantage is that?!

Give me one good reason why I would WANT to be eaten first!


Do you really want to stick around and watch the entire world be destroyed by evil creatures from beyond Hell?

Not really…

Oh God… you’re right… I don’t want to see it all end!

I want to be eaten quickly!

What do I have to do to make my death a swift one?

The thing cannot be described – there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy…” HPL

You must worship and sacrifice at the altar to appease the appetites of the Elder Gods! Then you may hope for a fast death!

Ph’lngu! mghw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagi fhtagn!


Gasp… This can’t be!


Chant invocations from the NECRONOMICON, the book of dead names written by the Mad Monk, Abdul Alhazred!

Only then… on the dreaded day when they rise… Will you be eaten first!

The Elder Gods are coming and everyone is doomed!

You might as well party and do all the ship you were always afraid to do!


If yhou start to have dreams about cities where the geometry is all wrong and get inspired to make weird sculptures, do it!

1. Don’t worry about going mad.
There’s no avoiding it.

2. Be prepared for horrible visions and creatures that will chill you to the bone!
3. Remember… Yog Sothoth is the gate!

What to say!
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

If you have done all this, and you go completely mad… the Elder Gods will eat you first! Or maybe not… maybe they’ll torture you in their dank and rotting lairs… but you won’t care by then because you’ll be insane! A shell of a human being! BWA HA HA HA HA!

Just remember…
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die!

Help another person go mad with the knowledge of the horrible evil! Give them this book:


Do I have anything good to say about Jack Chick — a man who says Catholocism is a Babylonian Plot, Islam is a Catholic Plot, and Communism is a Islamic Catholic Plot? Yes. Even though he threatens -style strategic lawsuits against public participation, he has a write to make his claims. As the says

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Jack Chick has a write to spread his beliefs. So-called “hate speech” regulations, whether on campuses or for entire countries, would take away Chick’s right to proselytize as he believes The Lamb wishes him to do so.

Chick has a right to speech. So do the men he has sued.